


Letters

by alligotleftismyjim



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 01:34:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6450136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alligotleftismyjim/pseuds/alligotleftismyjim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of letters between Jim and Leo spanning the five days of Leo's away mission to help a dying population.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. From Leo

Dear Jim,  
Everything’s going well so far but only time will tell. I know you don’t like me going on away missions alone but this one was unavoidable. Starfleet keeps touting me as “the best doctor in their fleet.” We should’ve known I was gonna have to prove it at some point. Too bad it turned out to be on this damn planet. Hopefully I can be done with this mission quickly. Oddly enough, all I told the natives who came to get me was that I was a doctor from Starfleet and that I was here to help with the pandemic. I’ve got no idea how they expect me to figure out a cure that’s gonna work for every single person on this damn planet. Mesarthian mortifero morbo is near impossible to treat in humans. I’ve got no idea how I’m gonna manage to make a cure for everyone on Tsiolkovsky. This is only going to make you nervous but you deserve to know. I’ve only been down here for a few hours and we keep getting reports of new cases closer and closer to our camp. I promise I’m going to do everything I can to make sure none of us here get sick. Their technology here is amazing for a planet this far out. It’s almost as advanced as the research labs back at SF Medical. Hopefully, they’ve got everything I need to work out and synthesize a cure. This isn’t going to be easy. I may not be able to write for a few days but you can monitor my stats. I’ll be fine darling. You know I’m careful. I promise I’ll come home to you and the kids. I’m not dumb enough to leave the best thing I’ve ever had. I know Jo’s upset that I had to leave again so soon but tell her I promise as soon as I get back, we’ll go to the holodeck and ride horses for as long as she wants. If she gets too upset while I’m gone, tell her I recorded her something special on her PADD before I left. Hopefully, she hasn’t found it yet. If she did, tell her I recorded something else on your PADD. It’ll be under the file labeled “Joanna.” I also recorded you a few special videos but you don’t want to watch them with anyone else around. I’ll be back soon enough and you can order me to take as much personal leave as you want me to so long as you take your personal leave too. You need a break, Jim. Once I get back, we should take the kids somewhere for a week or two and just relax. Marietta or San Fran or Riverside. Just somewhere where we won’t be bothered by Starfleet or the press for a good long while. Doesn’t that sound wonderful? We’ll just get away and not have to worry about any responsibilities except to the kids and each other for a few weeks. After all this crap on Tsiolkovsky, I need a break. So many people here have died already. I don’t know why no one tried to help earlier. It seems like it’s just me and one nurse who are really working on this. Now that I think about it, this is kind of an odd set-up. I haven’t met the head doctor that was supposedly working on a cure already. I’ve got her research but it’s not that helpful. Her thoughts are disjointed and her notes aren’t clear. It seems like she’s done some testing but I don’t know what the results were. The nurse here barely seems to know what’s going on. The hospital I’m at is full of patients but I never see any other doctors or nurses around, however all the patients are cared for and fed. I wish I could walk around during the day but I’ll be working in their labs the entire time. The only time I’ll have is early in the morning or late at night when everyone is already asleep. And I’d much rather write you than spend my time walking around a hospital where I don’t know any of the patients. In fact, I’d much rather actually be with you and the kids than be down on this godforsaken planet. There’s nothing but rocks and it rains ice. It rains ice, Jim, This planet was specifically designed to include everything I hate. You owe me a nice vacation to the Bahamas. Somewhere where there’s sand and water and the sun. This planet has a sun but it’s about a fourth of the size of ours. It’s enough to keep us alive but not enough for me. I wish you could be here with me- my own personal sun. I’ve only been gone a day but I miss you something terrible. I wish you and the kids could be with me but I’m glad you’re with them. It doesn’t make sense for both of us to risk ourselves. I promise I’ll be back soon. Tell the kids I love them and I’ll see them in a few days. I love you, darling and I swear I’ll come home safe and sound. 

All my love,  
Leo


	2. From Jim

Dear Leo,  
I just got your letter and I couldn’t agree more. You’ve only been gone a day and it feels like weeks. I know you’re always careful but just be even more careful than you usually are? I just want you home safe and sound. The kids are doing fine so far. Jo does seem a little down but I promised her we could comm Grandmomma and she can help us make some cookies. That seemed to make her happier so I’m just waiting for the cookies to be done baking and meet Eleonora’s seal of approval. I can see where you get your cooking skills from, love. And I can already see that Jo is following in your footsteps. Linc and I both prefer eating over cooking but maybe when you get back, you can give me a crash course. That way you don’t have to cook every night and when I cook, it won’t be the same few meals every time. Maybe I can cook the entire time we’re on that vacation you’ve already planned for us. Not that I mind at all; we do need a break and a trip to the Bahamas with the kids sounds perfect. Maybe I can get Starfleet to give us an extended leave. You’d better come back ready for a vacation. And you will come back because you promised me and you promised the kids. You’re right though. It does seem really odd that you haven’t met the doctor in charge of all this. And be thankful you’re not there during the Tsiolkovsky winter. It doesn’t just rain ice then, it also snows and sleets. All at the same time. I still don’t like you being down there alone; summer or not. I know you’ll say I’m getting a taste of my own medicine since you usually stay home with the kids while I go on missions but what you do always seems more dangerous. Did you know that Mesarthian mortifero morbo literally means “Mesarthian deadly disease”? You probably did but that’s not good Leo. You might die from this. I know you’ve worked with deadly stuff before but you said this is getting closer to where you are? I think you should come home soon, Leo. I know you want to find a cure but maybe you should do that from here. You’d have access to all your staff and all the different components you’d need to synthesise a cure. And it’d be safer than down there. I just want you safe. If I’m your sun, then you’re my moon; you give me light when I can’t see it any more. All I want to do is make sure your light stays alive for as long as possible. Sappy, I know, but it’s true. I don’t want to lose you again. I love you too much to let that happen. Stay safe, Leo. I love you all the way to the moon and back. 

Love,  
Jim


	3. From Leo

High Marshal Nanparm Naro Hospital  
Quarantine Center Sector One  
Gona City, Tsiolkovsky   
Stardate 66948.6

Official Progress Reports for: Dr. Leonard Kirk

Doctor Kirk has fallen ill with the Mesarthian mortifero morbo (MMM) that he was attempting to locate a cure for. Sadly, no cure has been found. Doctor Kirk has begun displaying the common symptoms directly related to MMM that include but are not limited to: numbness, auditory hallucinations, difficulty swallowing, rash, nausea, dry mouth, drowsiness, partial blindness, diminished sensation, loss of appetite, fragile bones, blurred vision, delusions, disorientation, uncontrollable bleeding, swollen joints, difficulty breathing, muscle weakness, bloody vomit, swollen throat, excessive sweating, seizures, loss of coordination, partial paralysis, bleeding from orifices, ashen skin, and difficulty urinating. Doctor Kirk has begun showing signs of most of these symptoms. At this point in time, it is impossible for any family members to visit. This hospital will release Doctor Kirk’s body when it is deemed no longer a possible contagion. 

Thank you for your cooperation,   
High Marshal Nanparm Naro Hospital

 

I should not be writing to you but I feel you need to know that Doctor Kirk is very ill; one of the worst cases we have seen here. But there is still hope. We are closer to finding a cure than we ever were due to the Doctor’s notes and theories. We have synthesised a serum from his works and will be giving it to him shortly. Have hope.  
Dr. Tharay sh'Shuni


	4. From Jim

Oh Leo,  
I just got the report from the hospital. There was a reason why you never saw anyone taking care of the patients. They’re all dead. Everyone in that hospital died from Mesarthian mortifero morbo. For some reason, your orders got mixed up with a convict that was sentenced to death by being locked into the hospital where you are. You were supposed to go to the quarantined hospital on the other side of the planet. That’s where you are now. They took all the work you did with the other doctor’s notes and research and tested the cure you synthesised. It had a fifty/fifty percent chance for success so they tested it on you. It was the best they could do for you. I wanted to come down but the entire planet is on lockdown until the pandemic passes or a reliable cure is found. God Leo, I’m so sorry. I know you didn’t want to go in the first place but that went you after I insisted you’d enjoy it. I’m so sorry Leo. This is all my fault. I have to go try and figure out what we can do but I promise I’m gonna take care of the kids and make sure you come home. I love you so much Leo. The kids love you so much. Everyone on this ship loves you and I know they’re gonna be hoping for the best. I know you’ll come home, Leo. I promise I’ll get you home. I love you- all the way to the moon and back.  
Love,  
Jim


	5. From Leo

High Marshal Nanparm Naro Hospital  
Quarantine Center Sector One  
Gona City, Tsiolkovsky   
Stardate 66951.3

Official Progress Reports for: Dr. Leonard Kirk

Doctor Kirk shows no improvement since last report. Patient still exhibits many symptoms of Mesarthian mortifero morbo. Symptoms have escalated from common to sever/advanced. Survival rate at this advanced stage of MMM is calculated at 0%. An autopsy will be performed after death to officiate the cause of death. An official report will be sent to Starfleet and Doctor Kirk’s body will be returned to the Federation ship, the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701.   
Our condolences,  
High Marshal Nanparm Naro Hospital

 

Doctor Kirk is not as close to death as you may think. His condition has deteriorated significantly but there is still hope. You must have hope. I know that you are married to the good Doctor and that you have two children. Please know you have my deepest sympathies. I cannot imagine what it must be like to be so far away from the one you love while knowing they are suffering. We are doing all we can to treat Doctor Kirk’s symptoms and make him comfortable. I will continue to keep you updated to the best of my abilities.   
Dr. Tharay sh'Shuni


	6. From Jim

Oh God Leo,   
This wasn’t supposed to happen. I don’t know what to do. There’s no way for us to come get you. I keep trying to get Starfleet to at least let me go down to be with you but they’ve taken me off active duty and confined me to the ship. Leo, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. You didn’t want to be here to begin with and I still made you follow me out here. You should be the head of the ER at Starfleet Medical. You shouldn’t have been out here. I’m so sorry. I know that saying it won’t change anything but I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. I would do anything to change this Leo. I wish there was something I could do. I can’t believe that you’re dying and I’m not even going to be there for you. I wanted to stay with you forever, Leo. And I didn’t even get ten years. I wanted to walk down the aisle with you again on our fiftieth wedding anniversary. I wanted you to be on one side of Jo with me on her other side so we can both walk her down the aisle. I wanted you to be able to see our kids grow up. I wanted you to be able to see your grandkids grow up. I wanted you to live the life you deserved. And you deserved a long and happy life on earth. You shouldn’t die out here. You should die in your sleep, surrounded by all your family. You shouldn’t die alone. No one should die alone, especially you. I’m going to miss you so much, Leo. And so is everyone else. I haven’t told Jo anything about this yet. I wanted to wait until there was a definite answers instead of “he might survive” and “he might not make it.” It seems the answer is pretty definite now. I’ll make sure all your wishes are carried out like you wanted. I’ll have a nice headstone put in next to your dad’s with enough room for your mother and me when we die. I wanted you to be my forever, Leo. And I can only hope that you wanted me to be your forever too. You’ll still be my forever. There won’t be anyone else for me. You’re it. You’re my one and only, now and forever. I should’ve said goodbye when I had the chance. But now it’s too late. I guess I’m in denial about everything right now. It’ll make more sense tomorrow. Or less sense. I can only imagine what these next few days, weeks, years are going to be like. God, Leo. I don’t know if I can do this without you. I don’t think I know how. My mom will help but she can only do so much. The crew is going to be a wreck. I’m going to be a wreck. I don’t want to be without you. The next time the Enterprise is back in San Francisco, I’m resigning. I’ll teach at the Academy. Spend more time with the kids, be there for them. I promise I’ll take care of them. I promise. I won’t let you down, Leo. I swear I’m going to take good care of them. I love you.  
Love,  
Jim


	7. From Leo

High Marshal Nanparm Naro Hospital  
Quarantine Center Sector One  
Gona City, Tsiolkovsky   
Stardate 66954

Official Progress Reports for: Dr. Leonard Kirk

It is with our deepest sympathies that we regretfully inform you of Doctor Kirk’s passing. he is scheduled for autopsy today, 66954.2. During this autopsy, Doctor Kirk’s death will be confirmed and his body will be studied by medical students until 67295.6. On 67298.4, Doctor Kirk’s body will be returned to the Federation ship, the U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701. We express our deepest sympathies to all during this difficult time.

Our apologies,  
High Marshal Nanparm Naro Hospital

Don’t believe a word they say. Doctor Kirk is recovering miraculously. The serum that he created before he fell ill saved his life and will now be used to save all those affected by this horrible diseases. Your husband will be returned to you as soon as he is deemed stable for transport. Your husband is coming home. He is safe. He will be whole and well again. Your family will be complete once more.

Best wishes,  
Dr. Tharay sh'Shuni


	8. From Jim

Dear Leo,  
You’re gone. I just got the letter from the hospital. The note at the bottom said you were recovering but I don’t believe them. I still haven’t told anyone yet but all the crew knows that something went wrong on this mission. I think it’s finally sunk in. You’re not coming back. You’re never coming back. Dammit, Leo. You were supposed to come back. You and I were supposed to live long and happy lives together. We were supposed to be the old couple sitting in rocking chairs on the porch while all their grandkids run around the front yard. We were supposed to retire together. We were supposed to travel the world or drive cross country or whatever people do when they retire. Just as long as we were together, it would’ve been enough for me. I don’t want to believe it but they’re offering to let me observe the autopsy via a video feed. I don’t know if I should do it. Part of me wants to do it so that I know that you are truly gone but another part of me wants to remember you as you were. My beautiful, brilliant husband. The most wonderful father. The most compassionate doctor. The most amazing man I’ve ever met. I’m not the only one who thinks all this. Jo looked up to you so much. I know she still wants to become a doctor, just like you. And she’ll make an amazing doctor, just like you. I don’t think I ever really noticed how much Jo acts like you but how much Linc looks like you. I’ve seen picture of you when you where the age Linc is now. He looks exactly like you. So I guess I’m not really losing all of you. I’ve still got Jo and Linc and all the videos and photos of you. That’ll have to be enough. I’ll make it enough. I’ll be okay, I think. I’ll just take it one day at a time and tell myself every night when I go to bed that I’m one more day closer to seeing you again. I miss you and I love you. All the way to the moon and back, always and forever, Leonard, I will be yours.  
I love you


	9. From Leo

Jim- I’m alive. I’m weak but I’m alive.   
I don’t know how, but I’m coming home.   
I’ll need to spend a few days in the   
isolation units in med bay but I’m alive.   
I love you so much. All the way to the   
moon and back. Tell the kids I love them,   
too. I’m coming home, darling. I’m coming home.

All my love,  
Leo


	10. From Jim

I can’t believe it! You’re alive! You’re coming home! Oh my God, Leo! You’re coming home! Everything has been planned out to avoid any more mix ups. As soon as your doctors clear you for transport, you’re going to be beamed into one of the isolation units in med bay but I’ll be waiting for you right outside the glass. I’ll stay with you the entire time. As soon as you’re settled, I’ll have Jo and Linc come down to visit. I’ve commed your mom and she knows that you’re going to be okay. She’s so worried about you that she threatened to sue Starfleet for reckless endangerment because they sent you down to the planet without proper information or preparation. But you’re coming home! It might take a few days, but soon you’ll be back in your own bed with me and the kids by your side. Jo is so excited to know you’re coming back. I told her a brief version of what happened and she knows you might be really sick for a few days but that you’ll be fine after a few days in med bay. Linc is too young to understand exactly what’s happening but he knows something exciting is happening. He and Jo have been making cards and drawings for you all morning. I told them you probably wouldn’t want a party but they’re insisting on having one for you anyway. They swear it’s only going to be a small one though but I’m sure it’ll escalate into inviting all our friends to one of the rec rooms. I’ll make sure Jo doesn’t go too overboard but I might even help her plan it because you’re coming home! You’re going to be home and safe and I still can’t believe it but it’ll be even better once you’re home. I love you so much and I am so happy, Leo. I get to have you back. I get to spend more time with you. I get to see you alive again. I promise, I’ll never make you go on another away mission if you don’t want to again and you’re never going on another away mission unless I’m with you. I couldn’t take it if you went where I couldn’t follow. I love you so, so much Leo. And I can’t wait for you to come home.  
I love you so much


End file.
